How Do You Talk to Your Kids About Osama bin Laden?

This week, many parents are grappling with how or if they should tell their kids about the death of , killed Sunday after a joint operation by the CIA and U.S. Navy SEALs.

It’s the subject of many parenting columns, including, of course, this one. But where some are written by experts and others talk to experts, I am doing neither. I don’t have a degree in child psychology, and Google can quickly get you an expert's opinion. I can only write about what I’ve experienced, with the hope that some readers will be interested enough in what another in their situation has to say.

On Sept. 11, 2001, my two daughters were at different stages in their lives at in Edmonds. One was in fourth grade, the other in first. After arriving home from work, I immediately parked in front of the TV, of course, while the girls flitted about the house, Barbies and the Disney Channel their main concerns. As it should have been. Other parents may have talked to their young kids about what happened, but I didn’t think it was necessary.

I don’t remember them asking me about what happened in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania. I’m not even sure it was mentioned in school. On Monday, I asked them both what they remembered about 9/11, and their answers were what I expected: not much.

It was only later in their lives that they became interested in 9/11, prodded by teachers, friends and their dad’s fascination with the subject. I own many books on 9-11, have seen all the “as it happened” videos on YouTube and settle in to watch the cable news coverage on each anniversary.

My daughters are 19 and 16 now. The world has changed, in no small part due to the Internet and social networking. On Sunday, before President Obama gave us details on what we already knew, I watched television reports while logged onto Facebook.

Now, of course, the girls are also plugged into what’s happening in the world. There’s no way they can’t be. The youngest was bombarded by text messages from friends, and on Facebook it’s all her high school friends were chatting about. Same with the oldest. While it seemed like older people like me were wondering what was going to happen next—what kind of hornet’s nest has this stirred up now?—young people were the most visible in their celebration. Live pictures from the White House and Ground Zero showed a majority of crowds to be young people whooping it up, waving flags and singing patriotic songs.

On Facebook, comments from my daughters and their friends were filled with smirkiness. “Wonder what Obama’s doing these days?” “Dirt nap.” “Osama bin Laden is dead! Obama got Osama!” Lot of jokes, lots of joking.

So when do you tell your kids about something like 9/11 or Osama bin Laden getting killed? You'll know, because your kids will be talking to their friends long before they’re talking to you.